prillalar: (kaidoh hufflepuff)
prillalar ([personal profile] prillalar) wrote2007-06-24 05:33 pm
Entry tags:

Tenipuri Fic: Flower, RyoKai

Hmm.

Flower by Halrloprillalar / [livejournal.com profile] prillalar
Prince of Tennis, Ryoma/Kaidoh, NC-17, 800 words.
Echizen wants one thing.



"Buchou," Echizen says and grins. He only calls Kaidoh that when he wants something, one thing, and Kaidoh picks up his bag.

"I'll leave the rest to you," Kaidoh says to Momoshiro and looks away before he can see Momoshiro's face change.

They leave the restaurant, the noise, the team. It's not far back to school and they walk side by side, not speaking. Kaidoh thinks with half his brain about the matches, hard-won from Fudomine. Even Echizen had to wake up in his match with Ibu and that's why he's sparking now, fizzing like a firework. Kaidoh walks faster.

When they get there, he can't fit the key into the lock. He's uneasy, always, when they're here, but the buzz on his skin, the roar in his ears is too loud and he can't hear, feel, want anything else.

"Need help?" Echizen says, but Kaidoh tries again and the door opens.

"The window," Kaidoh says and Echizen pulls him down onto the floor. There's an orange flyer underneath the cubbies, covered with dust. The keys fall from Kaidoh's hand, club key, house key, bike key, jangling onto the cement. Echizen rolls up beside Kaidoh and his eyes are lamps in the dim of the room.

Kaidoh breathes but there's not enough air. He's dizzy, spinning, hand on Echizen's back, up underneath his clothes. "Ah," Echizen says, a noise or a word. Kaidoh's fingers crawl higher, between Echizen's shoulder blades. It's hard to tell when they're scrabbling together on the floor, but Echizen is almost as tall as Kaidoh now, his hair is almost as long.

Echizen laughs, Kaidoh shivers, lets the sound out of his throat. Echizen rocks closer, hand on Kaidoh's dick, rubbing him through his pants. It's so good, like being crushed in a press, like being eaten from the inside out. Echizen gets his hand down inside, brushing Kaidoh's balls, stroking his dick once up the underside, pressing his thumb just under the head. Kaidoh's dick jerks, his whole body jerks, he hits his chin on Echizen's forehead. He comes.

When he's empty, Kaidoh falls onto his back, waits to breathe, almost sinks through the floor. He doesn't close his eyes and he watches Echizen watching him. Echizen boosts himself onto the bench.

Kaidoh counts to ten, sucks in air, pulls himself up. He kneels in front of Echizen. He undoes Echizen's pants.

Echizen doesn't like boys like Kaidoh likes boys. Echizen doesn't look at Kaidoh like Kaidoh looks at him, like Kaidoh used to look at boys whose names he tries hard not to think about now. Kaidoh takes Echizen's dick in his mouth because that's the best way to forget.

And Kaidoh likes cock. He's given up trying not to and now he just lets himself enjoy it, mouth open, fingers teasing, knees aching on the cold floor. Echizen is cut and that took some getting used to, more work with the tongue, but good, really good.

Echizen leans back, closes his eyes, clenches his hands. Kaidoh is in control, the only time he has the upper hand, the only way he can give Echizen something that he wants. Five more minutes and Kaidoh will be hard again.

When Echizen comes, his face is blank and pale, like he's dead for a few seconds. Kaidoh takes all the jizz, slippery and nearly sweet, and rolls it around in his mouth. He wants to push his tongue between Echizen's lips and give it back to him. He leans back and spits into a tissue.

Kaidoh doesn't look at Echizen while they clean up. He lets Echizen leave first and then he sits for a moment on the bench, holding his keys in his fist so they leave a red mark on his palm. He fills in the win on the tournament chart. He leaves the room and locks the door behind him.

Momoshiro is waiting outside. "You bastard," he says and steps in, hand raised. Kaidoh lets Momoshiro take a free shot, a hard blow on the jaw that staggers him. The keys fall again. Kaidoh keeps his hands at his sides, waiting for the next one.

Momoshiro hits the wall instead. "Why?"

"I don't know," Kaidoh says. He picks up the keys. His jaw aches but he doesn't touch it.

Momoshiro rubs his fist. "That's what he said."

Kaidoh tries to imagine that conversation, wonders if Echizen was sullen or cheeky. "Are you going to hit me again?"

"Are you going to hit me back?"

"No," Kaidoh says and the dull anger on Momoshiro's face sinks into Kaidoh, a stone in his belly, grey and heavy.

"It's not okay," Momoshiro says. "You bastard." And he leaves.

Kaidoh walks home, not even jogging, and when he gets up to his room, he beats off, thinking about nobody at all.

-fin-

Comments of any kind are always welcome.

[identity profile] reddwarfer.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
Wow. That hurt so so so so good. I love the way you write Kaidou. I always have. This...I just can feel the ache for Kaidou here. The way he allows himself to be taken advantage of because, he feels guilty to...I'm not sure if that was what you were going for, but it's as if he thinks he deserves it for wanting it in the first place. Anyhow, so very excellent.

[identity profile] insaneneko.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
Ouch. Dunno what else to say...

[identity profile] akahannah.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
Fuuuuuuck, this is like a punch to the gut. I think I held my breath the whole time I was reading it... which really isn't healthy at all. Much like their encounter. Damn, I love the way you've written Kaidoh here. And Momo, who followed them, because of course he would have.

Gah, this is so, so good. *_*

[identity profile] akatonbo.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
That song is going to be stuck in my head now. *pets Kaidou* *thinks better of it and sends Inui to pet Kaidou instead, with at least 3.14159265 times more lascivious intent*

(no subject)

[identity profile] akatonbo.livejournal.com - 2007-06-26 11:08 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] waxrose.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
Ahhhh, painful but so good. :{ And Momo, oh Momo.

[identity profile] karadin.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Excellent, wish I had the words to express how I enjoyed this fic.

[identity profile] pixxers.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
I think this more than makes up for any lack of commenting. *winknudge*

That was awesome, Hal. Stark and urgent and perfect. I like Ryoma this way.

[identity profile] yes-rhade.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Oh that was really so good in so many short words. It does make me want more - I want to see Momo win Kaidoh away or see a threesome...

[identity profile] sweetchycks.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
this is good!

[identity profile] kisamonkey.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
That neither of them gives momo an honest answer is what makes this for me. It's beautiful. Hard, intense, and beautiful.
ext_30466: (a sharp breath.)

[identity profile] storyteller.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
guh. ouch. guh again.

this was FABULOUS, hal. ♥

[identity profile] darth-claire.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
*snerk* I love Kaidoh banging his chin into Echizen's forehead. As for the rest of it, very nicely done. I feel sorry for Kaidoh and poor Momo, no one tells him anything.

[identity profile] sudaki.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
Damn you're good. :P

[identity profile] mousapelli.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
aw kaidoh. NEXT YEAR INUI WILL BE INUI-SENPAI AGAIN.

I love when you write captain Kaidoh, because I never do. I kind of hope the series doesn't go long enough to tell me which one of us is right.

And Ryoma is just so...well. Not trying to be a dick, but...Ryoma. And he has a captain fetish. And it's probably a harder year for him than Kaidoh or Momo, although I doubt he'd admit it or even recognize is as such.

[identity profile] knw.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
I do like the rawness in this.

[identity profile] hungry-worm.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 09:52 am (UTC)(link)
That was painful but good. Or good because it was painful? <3

[identity profile] sarahofcroydon.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 10:25 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, the darlings. Ryoma, you bastard. ;___;

[identity profile] biggersandwich.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 12:16 pm (UTC)(link)
That is sad. :( (Good, but sad.)

[identity profile] bookshop.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 12:37 pm (UTC)(link)

God that is good. I love Ryoma when he's like this, cheeky and insolent and taking without apology. Poor Kaidoh. Poor Momo. just. Guh.

RyoKai! Yay! But...

[identity profile] leviosa8.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
That was so sad. I know what you think of RyoKai, but I am sure Momo wouldn't be left out. And it doesn't have to be that empty : (

The keys fall from Kaidoh's hand, club key, house key, bike key, jangling onto the cement.

You know, I didn't like the filling, but the bread was tasty: perfect building and angsty resolution. And that detail of the keys was wonderful.

[identity profile] moshesque.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 03:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Awesome, awesome angst. *__*

[identity profile] karorumetallium.livejournal.com 2007-06-25 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
HOLY SHIT.

... I mean, that was fantastic. Painfully good in its exquisitely crafted glory, and so are you. I was holding my breath as I read, and it HURT.

Awesome job.

[identity profile] moeruze-burning.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
This was like... the most perfect thing for me to read right now.

It makes me happy somehow. XD;;;

Lovely detail, I love how when I read it, it wasn't like... bursting out in bright flurries in my head, but like... calm. Calm, mostly uncaring. Ignoring any wrongs or problems at hand until Momo comes. And I /love love love love/ how Kaidoh just lets Momo hit him.

Excellent job! <3

[identity profile] cellia.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 07:52 am (UTC)(link)
*cries and cries*

[identity profile] longleggedgit.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
This has to be the best Ryoma/Kaidoh I've ever read. Oh man. I adored it. You write Kaidoh so, so well, and I really sort of ache for him in this. Awesome work.

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