(no subject)

[prillalar]

That Wonderful Woman! Oh, How I Loathe Her. - Ann Hornaday in the Washington Post.

(I didn't have problems reading without logging in, but if necessary, use BugMeNot)

We all have them, those close friends, colleagues, casual acquaintances or complete strangers whose lives and careers exist -- it seems to us -- solely as a rebuke to our own. We respect them, admire them from afar, maybe even love them -- but with a twinge of . . . what exactly? Jealousy? Envy? White-knuckled rage? They're the people who are constantly reminding us that we'll never quite measure up. They're the valedictorians to our salutatorians, the bestsellers to our mid-listers, the mid-listers to our never-published, the homecoming queens to our also-rans. They seem to have sprung fully formed from our ugliest competitive streaks, our egos at their most fragile, our deepest self-loathing. They are our own squandered potential, fully realized.

I'm not wild about her portmanteau word -- idolspize -- but the article really resonated for me, especially in regard to fandom, which seems to bring out these feelings in me like nothing else in my life. At least now I know it's not just me.

Comments

[darkeyedwolf.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, idolspize?

[prillalar]

Hey, I said I didn't like the word!

[darkeyedwolf.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, that wasn't directed at you! I just -- don't see how any writer can create that, and then put their name on it. *twitches*

[dejla.livejournal.com]

I know it's certainly surprised me to find myself jealous of other people in fandom, but then, when I was in high school and college, the one thing I could do no one else could was write lucidly and readably. Then I came into fandom, and found that my one little talent measured only in the average range. Pretty painful when that was all one had to start with.

[prillalar]

It's a horrible feeling. I've never really found a good way to avoid it either.

I will absolutely *kill* myself

[kormantic.livejournal.com]

if "idolspize" becomes a word in common use.

Interesting article; I don't think I have that kind of enmity/idolatry of anyone, but I can sort of see it if I squint-- the milder form of "If only I was as cool as Hal!"

Re: I will absolutely *kill* myself

[prillalar]

Hee! But I will never be as cool as you.

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Very interesting article, and yeah, while I loathe the coinage, I think she's definitely onto something that I've experienced many times in fandom.

[prillalar]

Yeah, it screamed "fandom!" to me.

[slinkhard.livejournal.com]

Ha, I feel especially petty, now, as I realise there are several categories of people in fandom whom I'm jealous of (won't use that word! ;)
There's the people I'm jealous of artistically for icon-making/fic/meta writing abilities (and since I can't really do any of those activities, that's a lot!) who I know that even in a million years I couldn't create like; and the people who seem to succeed undeservingly or to amounts that seem beyond their skill level.

[prillalar]

We can all be petty together. :)

[octopedingenue]

Oh, how true. There is a chapter in Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life titled "Jealousy" that I make myself go read whenever I'm feeling particularly, umm, idolspizerian. That book is awesome.

Also, this poem.

[prillalar]

Oh, I love that poem. Thanks for linking it.