Bard

[prillalar]

When you see this, post some Shakespeare in your journal.


Snape and Lockhart
by William Shakespeare

Enter Snape

Lockhart appears above at a window

Snape:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the snuff box, and Lockhart is the rat.
Arise, knobbly rat, and stir the musty autograph.
See, how he leans his nose upon his thigh!
O, that I were a glove upon that thigh,
That I might touch that nose!

Lockhart:
O Snape, Snape! wherefore art thou Snape?
What's in a name? That which we call a chin
By any other name would smell as fishy
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a tinkling bell that chimes and rings and sings a sweet, sweet song"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove moist.

Snape:
Swain, by yonder musty autograph I swear
That tips on the peak of the highest mountain the hyperactive cauldron--

Lockhart:
O, swear not by the autograph, the delicious autograph,
That harshly changes in its cringing orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise cringing.
Sweet, stinking night! A thousand times stinking night!
Parting is such silvery sorrow,
That I shall say stinking night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Snape:
Sleep dwell upon thy nose, peace in thy thigh!
Would I were sleep and peace, so swimmingly to rest!
dreadfully will I to my knobbly chin's cell,
Its help to stir, and my fishy chin to tell.


(Okay, that was from the Drabble-Matic. And I didn't even do that template myself; I think it was campylobacter.)

Comments

[cesario.livejournal.com]

you just won the fandom.

[prillalar]

Hee! *runs off with prize*

[akatonbo.livejournal.com]

*cackles*

...the world is probably better off for the fact that I'm not in HP fandom, because probably nobody actually wants to see that much Lockhart fic.

[prillalar]

Is he your favourite? I don't think I've ever written anything serious about him, but I think I've done a few other crack drabbles about him and Snape.

[akatonbo.livejournal.com]

One of them, in a partly cracktastic, partly serious kind of way. (Mostly, I find him amusing, but then I considered playing him in an RPG once, and that usually requires taking the character seriously for me even when they're played for laughs.) Shall have to look for the drabbles.

[capra-maritimus.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

Your slash generator is the best! LOL

[prillalar]

Thanks!

[xsmoonshine.livejournal.com]

I am still wildly in love with your Drabblematic. ♥ hearts; hearts;

[prillalar]

I'm rather fond of it myself. :)

[1-mad-squirrel.livejournal.com]

Who knew Shakespeare dropped acid?

[prillalar]

He must have been on *something*.

[histoirede.livejournal.com]

*dies*
XD I'm afraid I don't have enough command of English to post some Shakespeare ^^;

[prillalar]

You could go to some quote-generating site and grab some at random. *g*

[histoirede.livejournal.com]

I'm really really afraid of how it would turn out X3 (because even with a good command of English, some Shakespearian lines are just totally unreadable for me ^^;)

[bobrhyn.livejournal.com]

*weep*

And no, I don't know if that's the good or bad kind.