prillalar | Torture your darlings

Torture your darlings

Did you ever have a pairing that you liked a lot? And not only did you like them, but you couldn't bear to hurt them? So when you wrote about them, it was always happy and nice and free from all but the most minor conflict?

I've had three of them so far (call me on it if I've missed some). And with the latest pair, I want to try to break out of that pattern.

The first pair is Skinner/Pendrell in TXF. An improbable pairing, to be sure. They did actually meet up in canon at least once. (Not counting when Pendrell died.) But I got them together and wrote many short stories about various holidays and it was all dialogue and little life things. I think the most traumatic thing was that Pendrell's cat got lost. But when I was writing, Pendrell had already died in canon and so I figured that spectre hanging over them was enough.

The second is Merry/Pippin. And I don't apologize for writing silly pieces that turned on dialogue and affection. They're hobbits, they suffered enough in the books, they deserved to be happy. But sometimes I wish I'd written something a bit deeper, to do better by them.

I also noticed that for both these pairs, I hardly, if ever, wrote anything more explicit than a kiss for them. In general, the happier the relationship, the less likely I am to write The Sex. I'm not sure why. Possibly I don't want to know. *g*

I don't have a pairing like that in Star Wars, in XMM, in Harry Potter. Well, I suppose Hermione/George. But I haven't written copiously about them. And I think I could make them hurt if I needed to.

The third untouchable pair is Inui/Kaidoh in Prince of Tennis. It doesn't help that I'm deeply attached to each character separately. It doesn't help that I'm so gone on them that not only do I have a song for them (the ultra-sappy Phil Collins cover of Groovy Kind of Love), but I have a song for me and the pairing, if that makes any sense (Puffy AmiYumi's Your Love is a Drug).

I love them so much that I want them always to be happy. And that's nice if you're a real person. But it's not really that interesting to read about. And I sort of feel like I'm cheating them if I write something challenging about another pair and just give them kiss porn.

So I have to figure out how to break out of the mould. I don't want to just arbitrarily insert some tragedy (and remind me to post the Coal Mine Tragedy scenario kestrelsan made up for me some time) -- that would be gratuitous and pointless.

But I want something deeper for them. I have to somehow look beyond my own infatuation with them to find something in their relationship to explore. Besides kissing. Mmm, kissing. Aargh!

Does this ever happen to you?

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Wes/Gunn. I kept trying to write them angsty, and I *just couldn't*. Because they should always be happy and have elaborate handshakes and fight demons together.

Aw, they should be always happy. Poor things.

After thinking back over every pairing I've ever liked I can safely say I've never had that happen to me. As much as I might love a pairing, and love them as a happy and affectionate pairing, I never have any trouble hurting them (whether or not I write about it another matter entirely). Actually I'm rather the opposite. The more I love a character/pairing, the more I want to take them apart, figure out what makes them tick, and then explore how they'd react under adversity.

I don't usually have any trouble with it either -- these are the exceptions for me. Out of more than 80 pairings I've written, I suppose 3 isn't bad. *g* Others I loooooooove to hurt.

Ron/Hermione. Not that I have any desire to make them angsty(ier). I just want them to bicker and have sex and help save the world.

Of course, I'm completely okay with not writing angst.

Yeah, and it's not even so much about just angst. But more about a depth of story that's hard to achieve if I just want to focus on them being happy all the time. But I will persevere!

Well, is there canon angst you can use to spice things up? When I write happy Sirius/Remus, it's with the knowledge that the reader knows what's going to happen (either the prank, Azkaban or the veil), so I can stop at a happy point and let canon do the heavy lifting.

Otoh, the stories I want to write about Ron and Hermione aren't about a conflict between them so much - except the typical romantic comedy type of thing - as much as them banding together to fight an external threat. I see them very much as a Nick and Nora Charles kind of thing - bantering and loving each other and kicking ass on outside problems... Would that be deep enough for you? It can also reveal layers in the relationship without making the story completely *about* the relationship.

I am absolutely weak for Clark and Lex. Once I went so far as to give Clark a papercut. No, I kid, I also took away his powers, but I gave him Lex in exchange. That's really as rough as I've gotten with them.

I can't stand to make them fight because I need them to have a happy ending, but Sab's working with me on that. Because we all know happy endings are *sweeter* if there's conflict in the middle, and I know that, so I'm trying to put a little more angst in my SV fics.

Hee! Lucky boys, to have you on their side. But I agree about the conflict. Now if only I could bring myself to do the same.

Not quite the same thing perhaps, but I used to find that while I could easily hurt and torment Mulder, it was much harder making angsty things happen to Skinner. Mulder seemed to suffer with a readiness that implied he actually enjoyed it (a view the show certainly helped foster!) but Skinner...well, it just seemed really mean to hurt him! I did it occasionally just for the h/c and angst possibilities, but it was always so much harder to write!

With Mulder it's hard *not* to hurt him. It's like it would be mean to just make him happy when he clearly doesn't want to be. *g* I think -- and it's hard to remember back -- that when I wrote Skinner hurting, it was because the show had put him in that situation, not me. So that way I didn't have to feel guilty about it.

No.

No matter what the pairing, I generally find some reason for them to angst.

I want them to be happy - well, usually I do - but the angst makes the story.

I'm often happy to make my characters suffer, but sometimes it's hard with the ones I *really* like. I'm trying to mend my ways.

Mmm, thansk for the reminder... I'm off to reread "I Love Lucy."

...yayyyy!

Hee!

Yes, I've had that happen to me exactly once, and I'm still uncomfortable with the story that resulted (Firebird (http://www.bearhome.net/laylah/firebird.html), Scar/Al) because I felt like such a tool for writing romance. But God, I needed them to be happy like nobody's business. In spite of canon, in spite of logic, in spite of everything. Goddamnit, they needed some love. Canon had already made them suffer more than enough.

...Usually, I'm more of the opinion that anyone I find hot will be hotter if he suffers a little. Or makes someone else suffer. Or ideally both.

Sometimes if they suffer enough in canon, it's OK to make them happy in fic. People will take that into account when they read.

All this makes me wonder how I'll be able to handle Konrad/Yuuri without going down the same hearts and flowers path. Maybe Konrad can break his leg or something. *g*

Yuuri's all wibbly about the responsibilities of being the Maou! He doesn't think he can do a good job of it, and it makes him all nervous to have people like Konrad -- and Gwendal, my God -- following his orders; that's a lot to drop on a kid! Not to mention how paranoid he'll have to be about Wolfram finding out and ~~having hysterics~~ getting pissed...
So, um, obviously he's going to need Konrad to reassure him a lot. ^_^;

...Which is to say, of course that's a cute fluffy pairing. Sometimes we need a bit of that, to take the sting out of the "I'll betray you if you don't kill me first" ones.

Er...

The more I love them, the more I hurt them.

I'm a sick, sick woman.

Duo: Tell me about it. [glares]
Heero: Yeah. [glares]

^^;;;;;;;;

There are pairs like that for me too. And then the vast majority where it can pretty much go any way, depending on the story. (I did a quick count this morning and I've written over 80 separate pairings over the years.) But my boys! How can I hurt them? *twitch*

I guess I could start out making Inui suffer, since he's only my second favourite. Maybe. I *like* it over here in Happy Happy Kaidoh Land.

OK, next story: Inui gets the flu. Do you think that's harsh enough?

The flu is very harsh. [wouldn't wish that fate on many people]

Yup, this totally happens to me, and is actually a reason behind me not writing some pairings at all because I can't think of anything to write besides lovebunnies! smooch! which is somewhat lacking in dramatic tension.

That damn dramatic tension!

I suppose I have a somewhat different version of that, though I don't look on it as a problem. When I write pure porn, I don't usually mix in angst.

Ed: You don't?

Emily: Shut up, Circumstances became unpure porn as it went along; angst only came with plot

Anyway. If I have a pair that I'm only into for the prettiness of them in bed, they often get happy lives from me. Insofar as I bother with their lives outside of bed...

I suppose, even when I'm deeply in love with a set of characters, or possibly especially then, I look for hints in canon of what might have made them complex and interesting enough for me to fall in love with. Which usually means conflict of some kind. And then I throw that into the story, usually with the intent of resolving it with the help of their romantic interest. I like to give characters the baggage they seem to come with, and the only time I disregard that is when writing pure porn.

I suppose, if I were writing InuKai I might wonder why Inui, who must surely have some insecurity from having been abandoned by Yanagi, is coming on so strong to Kaidou? Is Kaidou his rebound? Is Kaidou someone Inui feels he can dominate or control, and how is Kaidou going to react to that? They're actually still debating over this, in my head; when they reach some kind of agreement I may be able to write this pair. >_>

I don't think I exactly mean mixing in angst, though that's probably what my post sounds like. Rather, I feel like I'm just being too superficial with them.

These untouchable pairings aren't that frequent for me -- 3 in 7 years is probably not too bad. But InuKai I love *so much* I really want to try to get beyond that to give them something meaningful.

I think, as you mention, that Inui is really the key to this pairing and I've been thinking along similar lines. It's just...there's something in me that rebels when I think of pushing them into something that might be uncomfortable. That's what I have to get past.

I don't think what I've written about them before is utter value-less fluff, of course. I've been sort of circling around their relationship, looking at it from different angles. But now I've got to just jump in and really start taking things apart.

Anyhow, I have three stories in other fandoms to get off before I can get back to these two, so maybe by then I'll have cogitated enough to make a go of it.

And if not, I can always write more kiss porn. *g*

If I ever have to write Snape/Lucius--for a challenge drabble or whatever--I absolutely cannot bear to write "Lucius is using Snape in order to recruit him for the Death Eaters"--nor can I bear "Snape's just sleeping with Lucius because he's a spy for Dumbledore." I wouldn't call this an OTP, but I can't bear Betrayal Romance in almost any form, and even though this pairing seems ripe for betrayal, I just can't do it.

Aw, that's kind of sweet. :)

Kind of wimpy, maybe--but I don't enjoy "I love you but we cannot be together" endings either, so, why would I want to write something even crueler, y'know?

I have a problem writing angsty Yugi/Jounouchi stuff. Partly, I think, it's because they're already so close and so crazy about each other in canon, that it seems almost out of character and AU to cause them problems. The most I've managed with them is your typical teenaged waffling over taking the relationship beyond friendship.

And partly, it's just because I love them and I like wallowing in the happy fluffy sweetness that is their relationship. I don't really want to make them unhappy just for the sake of writing a story about them.

Which is why, even though Yugi/Jounouchi is my Yu-Gi-Oh! OTP, most of my stories center around Kaiba, who's a great big ball of issues, and lots of fun to take apart.

Yes, I think that's partly what's happening to me. But this current pair has such a complex relationship that I want to make myself get down into it, even if it does hurt. It's just hard to take that step. I feel so mean.

I remember those Skinner/Pendrell stories very, very fondly. Especially the Halloween one where they dressed as Batman and Robin.

Hee! Yes, I think that one was my favourite. "Batman drives."

Doesn´t often happen to me, since the more I like a pairing, the more I like to see them suffer. The closest thing may be Roy/Hawkeye, because I can write tons of angst for them but I could never break them apart (except for that time I killed Roy) or make them doubt their feelings.

I think Inui and Kaidoh have many angsty possibilities, I´m sure you´ll find your way with these two.

It doesn't happen often to me either, but when it does, I'm in trouble. :) I'm determined to make it work for InuKai, though. I actually felt kind of guilty about writing the MomoKai story because I felt like I was giving that pairing a serious treatment that I hadn't yet given to InuKai. *g*

I think just posting about this has helped, in a way. I feel like I'm getting closer to the story that breaks them open, not necessarily in a tragic way, but that gets down to the how and why of their relationship.

I just have to write three other stories first...

I think the most traumatic thing was that Pendrell's cat got lost.

But that was very traumatic! It is very frightening to lose a beloved pet. And Pendrell was mad at Skinner! I seem to remember being frightened that Lucy wouldn't be found and their relationship would be over and then Pendrell would be shot and Skinner would stare at him blankly as he was carried from that terrible bar. So even though there was a happy ending you did create tension in the story and convince me that something bad *might* happen.

Hee! It was rather traumatic, at that. Pendrell was so upset he even punched Skinner, IIRC. But then Skinner got to be the hero that found Lucy and all was well again.

Oh, Pendrell, why did you have to die? *sniff*

I think I have the opposite problem. When I fall in love with a pairing, I'm usually overcome by the urge to cause them superfluous pain. When I was briefly obsessed with Momo/Echizen, I started (and didn't finish) a handful of Momo-loves-Echizen-but-Echizen-loves-Sakuno/Eiji/Inui/Tezuka/anyone-but-Momo fics. When I was contemplating Inui fic, it was Inui-likes-Kaidoh-who-likes-Echizen, or Inui-likes-Echizen-who-doesn't-like-anyone. Now it's Mizuki/Yuuta, and while there's nothing horribly painful going on there, most of those drabbles center around Mizuki being a manipulative prick and Yuuta being frustrated. However, I think that has a lot to do with Mizuki's character and possibly not so much with my desire to cause pain to my favourite pairings. :)

I'm afraid it might have just happened to me with Rodney/Elizabeth. I don't know if it's exactly what you're describing here, but I have decided that I love them *so* much and they love each other *so* much that their love is the purest pure love that ever was and nothing must ever interfere with it and most of all nothing must make Rodney cry.

I love them so much I'm afraid to touch the pairing with my unhallowed keyboard. And I love them so much I'm afraid I'll start writing hearts and flowers and the sugariest of the sugary sap regardless of how improbable.

*shame*

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Torture your darlings

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