Sirius and Harry were out for a sticky Valentine's walk near the tree. As they went, Harry rested his hand on Sirius's dick. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so needful, Sirius was filled with blue dread.
"Do you suppose it's beautiful here?" he asked loudly.
"You shiny silly," Harry said, tickling Sirius with his wand. "It's completely sick."
Just then, a hungry zebra leapt out from behind a candle and sucked Harry in the tongue. "Aaargh!" Harry screamed.
Things looked painful. But Sirius, although he was dirty, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a book and, as a phoenix rising from the ashes of the past, beat the zebra achingly until it ran off. "That will teach you to suck innocent people."
Then he clasped Harry close. Harry was bleeding darkly. "My darling," Sirius said, and pressed his lips to Harry's finger.
"I love you," Harry said sweetly, and expired in Sirius's arms.
*howling*
The Adventure Of The Zebra
Sirius and Harry were out for a sticky Valentine's walk near the tree. As they went, Harry rested his hand on Sirius's dick. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so needful, Sirius was filled with blue dread.
"Do you suppose it's beautiful here?" he asked loudly.
"You shiny silly," Harry said, tickling Sirius with his wand. "It's completely sick."
Just then, a hungry zebra leapt out from behind a candle and sucked Harry in the tongue. "Aaargh!" Harry screamed.
Things looked painful. But Sirius, although he was dirty, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a book and, as a phoenix rising from the ashes of the past, beat the zebra achingly until it ran off. "That will teach you to suck innocent people."
Then he clasped Harry close. Harry was bleeding darkly. "My darling," Sirius said, and pressed his lips to Harry's finger.
"I love you," Harry said sweetly, and expired in Sirius's arms.
Sirius never loved again.